Break Down the Walls
by 1800acabelieveit
Summary: Beca and Chloe have hit a rough patch in their relationship. Will they be able to push past it or will they succumb to the argument? Will they make it out of this together, or will they be alone? **Bechloe one-shot** *I own nothing*


AN:

*Warning, there is some self harm, but it is just implied, not described or anything*

"Beca," Chloe said hesitantly, sitting on the edge of her girlfriend's bed. "What's wrong?"

Beca turned away from the redhead and refused to look her way. She knew she was being unfair but she just couldn't bear to talk about it right now. She and her dad had been to four therapy sessions this week and she hated them. No, she hated him for making her do them and for blaming everything on her. She hated talking to people she knew and liked, so one could imagine how much she wanted to talk to a stranger and the man she hates. Taking a deep breath, she tiredly rubbed her eyes and looked over, meeting Chloe's gaze which was now filled with concern.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I'm fine," Beca said slowly.

"No Beca, you're not fine. This is the third time this week this has happened. I was here for an hour and you didn't even notice. You were just sitting her, lost in your thoughts. What happened?" Chloe questioned. She knew something was wrong and it wasn't healthy of Beca to just keep shutting her out. She was trying to hard to break down the walls the young brunette has built around herself, but every time she gets close she just keeps building them higher. They'd been dating for three months and she'd been patient. She didn't even start asking what was wrong until two weeks ago.

"Chloe, I told you I'm fine! Okay?" Beca said raising her voice a little.

"No Beca. No. It's not _okay_. You can't keep doing this," Chloe said raising her voice to match Beca's. "I love you! I'm trying to help you! Why can't you see that?!"

"Chloe, I just.. I… I can't!" Beca said softly. She really had been trying, even though it wasn't showing. She'd been alone all her life and it was a weird feeling for her having someone that actually cared for her. She wasn't able to break that barrier of sharing things with her girlfriend yet, no matter how much she loved her.

"Well then maybe this isn't going to work…" Chloe said biting her lip and staring at Beca. "If you can't tell me what's going on, then I can't do this."

Chloe got up off the bed and walked over to the door placing her hand on the doorknob. She stared expectantly at Beca, trying to blink back the tears threatening to cascade down her cheeks.

Beca stared at Chloe, a lump starting to build in her throat. Unshed tears filled her eyes as she held the redhead's gaze. At the moment, she didn't trust herself to speak. "I-….."

Chloe swallowed hard and held back a sob. "Fine," she said. And with that, she slowly turned the door handle and let herself out. "Goodbye Beca."

Beca stared at the door, frozen in her seat. She knew she should go after Chloe, but something was holding her rooted to the chair. Had they just broken up?

Three hours after the argument, Beca had yet to move. Reality had begun to sink in and Beca now found herself completely and utterly alone. Chloe was gone and as that realization sunk in, those unshed tears came dripping down her cheeks. Beca drew her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her arms. She stayed like that all night. Sitting in the chair in front of her computer, sobbing. Beca never cried, or hardly ever. She didn't cry when her parents got divorced, she didn't cry when her mother died, she didn't cry when she was bullied or when she got all her tattoos. The young girl hadn't shed a tear since she was a baby.

But somehow, after losing Chloe, she couldn't help it. The tears started running down her face and never seemed to stop. For the rest of the week the young DJ sat in her chair alternating between sobbing and sleeping. She would cry herself to sleep and when she woke, reality would bring the tears again. She didn't understand why it hurt so badly.

Eventually, that sadness turned to anger. Her tears of sorrow turned into tears of hatred and not for Chloe. Beca was mad at herself for letting this happen. Mad at herself for building her walls, mad at herself for not being able to talk to Chloe, mad at herself for hurting Chloe. The list went on and on and every hour, Beca found a new thing to add to it.

This went on for two whole weeks. Beca didn't see or talk to Chloe- or anyone for that matter. She didn't eat and rarely slept. She stayed holed up in her room filled with sadness and anger and hate.

"Beca?" Aubrey said calling out as she knocked on the young girl's door. It had been two weeks since Chloe and Beca had last had their argument and she had spent all her time with the redhead. Chloe had been devastated and had no idea what to do without Beca. Aubrey had spent all her time trying to make the sad redhead feel better and had a feeling that Beca was feeling the same way, but she knew the younger brunette would be all alone. "Come on Beca, let me in."

Beca jolted up from her bed, recognizing the strict blonde's voice. "One second," she said, startling herself with her voice. It had been two weeks since she had talked to anybody and her voice was rough and raspy from crying. She carefully pulled on a sweater, wincing as it passed over her forearms. Aubrey couldn't know what she'd done. She slowly walked over to the door, pausing to look at herself in the mirror. Her hair hung limp in a ponytail, her skin abnormally pale. Her lips were chapped and her eyes red and bloodshot from crying. She looked horrible and she couldn't imagine what she looked like under her sweater.

She slowly opened the door, looking up at Aubrey. "What do you want?"

Aubrey hesitated before answering. The brunette looked awful. Way worse than she had expected. She had thought Chloe was handling their argument badly, but she looked like nothing compared to Beca. "I was hoping that I would be able to come in for a minute?"

Beca stepped aside and let the older girl walk into her room. She shut the door loudly behind her and sat down beside Aubrey on her bed. "What do you want?" she repeated.

"I think you should talk to Chloe," Aubrey said gently placing her hand on Beca's forearm. When Beca inhaled sharply and pulled her arm out from under Aubrey's hand, she frowned. "It's just you don't seem to be holding up very well and… well Chloe really does miss you."

Beca cradled her arm in her chest and thought about what Aubrey said. "Well I don't want to talk… I think you should leave."

Aubrey sighed and nodded. Before standing up she noticed the way Beca was holding her arm. She blinked in shock before letting herself out of the room. When she closed the door, she proceeded to walk as fast as she could back to the apartment she shared with Chloe.

"It's bad Chlo… Like really bad… L- like…" Aubrey blurted out as soon as she saw Chloe. She couldn't even bring herself to say it.

Beca sat on her bed thinking about what Aubrey had said. She was startled out of her thoughts when her phone vibrated.

From: CHLOE- _are you alright?_

Beca frowned angrily, standing up and starting to pace the room. She stopped in front of her bed and angrily flung her phone down onto the bed. "Shit…" she muttered before kicking her bed. "Dammit Chloe, you said…"

Beca couldn't even form a coherent thought. "You can't just do that…" she muttered angrily. Before she could stop herself, she quickly dressed in a pair of now loose black jeans and zipped her hoodie up to her chin. She pulled in hair into a messy bun and stormed out of her room, keeping her head faced to the ground. Five minutes later she found herself angrily pounding on Chloe's door.

"Chloe Beale you open this door right now!" She yelled angrily. When the door opened, her fist was still in the air and all the words seemed to have left her mouth. She looked up and for the first time in two weeks met Chloe's brilliant blue eyes. She could see the shock in Chloe's eyes and didn't even want to know what she looked like to the redhead. "You can't just do that…" Beca muttered angrily stepping inside.

Chloe looked at the young girl now pacing her living room and could barely contain her shock. She looked like she hadn't slept or eaten in weeks and knowing Beca, she probably hadn't.

"You promised!" Beca yelled. "You said you would never leave me! I tried… I'm trying…. I just can't…. You said…. I need you…. And you just…. And now I can't…"

Chloe watched Beca angrily pace her living room and felt her heart break when Beca couldn't find the words to say. Beca's head was now in her hands and her chest heaved with unsaid words. When Beca raised her head, Chloe was shocked to see tears streaming down the young girls face. Even she knew that Beca never cried.

"I'm just so… and then I…. and now I…. I just…" Beca started again. She stopped pacing to rip off her sweater and throw it to the ground. She held her arms out in front of her, displaying angry red cuts that ran down the length of her arm. "It's all my fault… I needed… and then…"

Chloe choked back a sob when she say Beca's arms. She hadn't meant to cause the young girl so much stress, if she had known she would have tried to talk to her.

"I'm trying Chloe, I'm trying so hard…. It was so hard…" Beca yelled again. "You promised… you said…. And then you… you- you promised."

Chloe watched as Beca collapsed in a sobbing heap on her floor. She watched as Beca fell to her knees and cradled her head in the crook of her elbow. Chloe gently sat down beside her and pulled her tight to her chest. She hugged the brunette tightly trying to calm her down. Trying to reassure her that it would be alright.

"I'm sorry Beca," Chloe said despairingly, wiping away the hot tears that were now sliding down her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry."


End file.
